I realize that I have totally neglected this blog (and website!), but it's true what they say...time really does fly! I've still been attending births although you would never know it from my relative internet silence. Today marks the day, three years ago, that my fourth child was born, and his birth taught me that it really is worth it to have a skilled care provider at your side, even when everything seems low-risk and previous birth history is completely unremarkable. 

Just to be clear...I support the right of every mother to choose how she gives birth. Every choice comes with risks and benefits. However, I don't agree with the idea that a skilled, respectful care provider is an intervention in and of itself. Women have been choosing to have experienced birth attendants with them since recorded history; it's only in the last couple of hundred years that these attendants most commonly turned into surgeons...with disastrous results. After my first (fast and easy) birth experience in the hospital, I decided that I would rather have more personalized care prenatally and during labor, and that I would prefer to avoid the hospital if possible. I toyed around with the idea of an unassisted birth, mostly because we no longer had good health insurance...but after some careful thought and prayer, decided that we would choose a midwife who respected all of my decisions and would support a hands-off, physiological birth.

I found that in Janna Grapperhaus, CPM. She attended the uneventful birth of our second and third child, at home and then at her beautiful birth center in Charlottesville. Both births were short (2.5 and 1 hour or so, and straight-forward. And then there was Atlan, number 4. 

Firstly, much to my embarrassment given my chosen work as a pregnancy/birth professional, I didn't find out I was pregnant until what turned out to be 14 weeks of pregnancy....because my husband made me take a pregnancy test! I have always had easy pregnancies, even in the first trimester, but with Atlan I didn't even have pregnancy cravings or aversions. My husband had been joking (I thought) that I was pregnant, but I was so sure that this wasn't possible that I completely brushed it off. But...there he was! Another boy. Three.....boys.....

The pregnancy continued uneventfully and relatively easily despite my shock and misgivings...FOUR children just seemed like craziness. Some days....it still does. My last two babies had been born at 41 and 41+4, so I knew that I was likely in it for the long haul. My other labors had all been fast, so we knew to prepare for another possible precipitous birth. When I woke up just 5 days past my EDD with a strong contractions, I was pleasantly surprised! Nervous about not making it to the birth center, I called by midwife...who just happened to be driving (home, at 3am!) close to our house. She offered to drive me to the birth center, so my husband got the other kids together and I got in the car with her and went to the birth center.

We got to the birth center, filled up the tub, and started the music. I knew that I wanted to wait for my mom to get there, so I focused on being somewhat still and just laying in the tub. I really didn't want to speed up the process. As my process, I'm not an "active" birther. I like to listen to music, sing, and lay in a tub, and not have anyone bother me. Thankfully, my midwife was willing to be hands-off and support these preferences. She even had the birth assistants hiding in the shadows! Every so often she checked Atlan's heart tones with the doppler. 

About 2.5 hours later, my mom arrived (times might not be *perfectly* accurate....labor is a bit of a time warp). I decided that it was time to get the ball rolling and push this baby out, and contractions were definitely intense. I had planned to drain the tub so as NOT to give birth in water this time. Call me crazy, or call it an experiment...but I will say that it wasn't my best plan. I immediately regretted this plan, but it was really too late to get the water back in. This was my LEAST favorite experience with pushing. I have seen quite a few mothers LOVE pushing on hands and knees, or leaning forward, but this definitely did not seem to work for me in this instance. Still...he was roared out at around 6 am on November 12th. 

Unlike my other babies, though, he didn't really cry, and his lungs didn't get properly expanded. He was, of course, still attached to the placenta, so he was getting some oxygen, but he needed more help. More help than I would have been able to give him. His breathing was very shallow, and he seemed very anxious and scared. None of that calmness that I had worked to facilitate for him after birth. Even with skin-to-skin and time to adjust, he just was not able to keep his oxygen levels up. His glucose levels were also low. Fortunately, we had oxygen on hand, a newborn pulse-ox to keep an eye on his oxygen levels, and glucose gel since it would be too dangerous to try to breastfeed him in the state he was in, due to the risk of aspiration. After a couple of hours which seemed like minutes, we had a hard decision. Do we call the hospital and transfer for a higher level of care, or continue to wait? But my midwife had one more "trick" up her sleeve.

I love homeopathy, but had never used it on a newborn. Janna suggested that we try a homeopathic remedy that is indicated when the individual is very stressed, hyper, anxious, and overly sensitive- Coffea. Yes, it's the homeopathic proving of coffee! She even had the tiny baby dosages of it, although she had rarely used it in hundreds of births. I looked at my baby, his little clenched fists and shallow breathing, and felt strongly that he didn't need to be in the hospital. He just needed to calm down and get some proper lung expansion and oxygen. So we gave him the coffea remedy, and within MINUTES his breathing slowed, his little body relaxed, and we all knew that he would be okay. I have never been so relieved, especially after having two other friends who had babies with similar issues in the hospital who ended up with babies in the NICU for over a week!
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We never really did figure out 1) Why Atlan was so stressed by being born 2) why his blood sugar was so low, or 3) why he didn't get a good breath, although all of those could be interconnected. What  I do know is that, without the skills, experience, and tools that my midwife brought to the birth team, Atlan's birth story could have been very different. He needed assistance that I just didn't know how to provide, and without Janna by our side, we likely would have had to transfer to the hospital and undergo antibiotics and a 48 hour stay at BEST. And I wouldn't been able to keep him with me and watch him like a hawk for the next week!

That's a long story to say that...I am so happy that I had a great care provider. I wish that all women had this option, although I know that many just don't. But I also think that it's worth a diligent search to find a care provider who will respect your autonomy and also step in when it's just necessary. Because sometimes, as mothers, we just need help.

And that's okay! 

​Dancing is one of my favorite ways to cope with even the most intense of contractions. You don't have to be a trained dancer to reap the benefits of using these types of movements during labor. Dancing combines rhythm and movement to help the baby to find it's way through the pelvis. It's thought that belly dance originated from the way women would move intuitively during labor and birth, and many other dance forms also promote a balanced and relaxed body, which are key to a labor that progresses as normally and easily as possible.

In this video, Elisa shows some excerpts from her labor in the hospital where she used belly dance techniques to cope with contractions and to help her baby descend. What I like about her example is that she is still using the movements while in bed, even while being monitored! 

Another benefit to dancing is that it's something that the birth partner or father of the baby can also be involved in. Perhaps you would like some extra support during contractions, or just a hand to hold. (Or, he can record the dance and turn you into an instant Youtube sensation!)

Perhaps you are someone who likes to be shown in person some of these dance moves. Dancing for Birth is a program that teaches women and birth professional how to use dance to promote a healthy labor and birth. You might like to visit their website to see if there is a class near you, or to purchase a video. (Eventually I hope to become an instructor!) You can also see this blog article for helpful videos to teach some movements that you can practice now!

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In our modern lives, we are now accustomed to being able to schedule most things. We like to have the assurance that we know what's happening and when. How long events will last. It is likely this desire to know WHEN labor will start and how long it might last that drives the routine measuring of cervical dilation before and after labor begins. But guess what? 

YOUR CERVIX IS NOT LIKE GOOGLE MAPS. Any measurement only tells you where you ARE. Not where you were, where you are going, how you'll get there, or how long it will take. 

What if the cervix WAS like Google Maps? Well, a cervix at 3cm dilation with regular contractions would give baby and ETA of about 8 hours. 7 cm? Baby's ETA= 4 hours. And in reality, this mindset is common! Here's an example: 

• A doctor checks a laboring mother and declares, based on dilation of 6 cm, that she definitely has at least 3-4 more hours of labor to go. Baby is born an hour later. No one is prepared for baby's arrival because they all thought the cervix was like Google Maps! 
• A vaginal exam before labor has begun shows that a mother is already at 3cm. Based on this information, she is told that she can expect to go into labor within the next week. 3 weeks later she's still waiting on her baby's arrival! Why?? Because the cervix is NOT like Google Maps!
• A laboring woman is excited to hear that she is at 9.5 cm! Birth seems imminent. 10 hours later her beautiful baby boy is born. Is this a problem? Only if...well you know where I'm going with that.

I really cannot stress this enough, because this confidence in the predictive power of the cervix is now ingrained into how we think about birth in the United States. So, what's a better illustration for the cervix? I think I've found one.

                        What does all of this mean for you?

It means that although I have chosen certain paths for my own pregnancies and births, that I will not impose those upon you.

That I will provide as much information as you would like to have access to, but I will not insist on any particular reading material or choice.
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 I will always be the one whispering 'You can do this; I believe in you."

Over a year ago I started learning more about traditional Bengkung wrapping, and then last October I was able to try it out myself after the birth of my third baby. Now that I have had the opportunity to wrap over a dozen mothers, and to wear the wrap myself, I am happy to offer some tips and tricks that may help the modern mother to wear the Bengkung wrap most comfortably. Some of these will apply more to the person doing the wrapping, and others to the person who is wearing the wrap. 

.....Maybe. I dislike speaking in absolutes, but I do realize the value of a catchy title! 

So, why on earth would I say that? Chickens don't even "give birth". They lay eggs. Very true.

Also true is that I've only had chickens for a week and a half now. But, even in that amount of time, they have reminded me of principles that apply to birthing women and those of us who support them. 

Let me go back a few weeks....

.....and a mere 5 minutes later she left this egg and left as if nothing had happened.

 I was happy that I finally had an egg, and that she was happy, even as I chased her around in the 90 degree heat to get her back into the safety of the yard. 

Here's what I didn't do. I didn't tell her that she was a bad, uncooperative chicken for refusing to lay an egg in her coop. I didn't lock her in there to force her to lay in the coop, removing all of her other options. I also didn't think, 'well's it's time to cut that egg out, because it's never coming out on it's own". (Also, although it's possible that her fellow chicken felt she was taking a big risk from venturing outside the safety of the yard, I'm fairly certain that she wasn't berated for her choice. I could be wrong about that, because I don't speak chicken.)

Let me recap.

I provide chicken with everything that I THINK she needs to lay an egg.

Chicken refuses to lay an egg for 5 days.

Immediately upon being let out, chicken finds HER PERFECT SPOT and lays an egg in record time.

What's My Point?

I'm sure you've figured it out already. Even if humans aren't chickens, some of the same behaviors are all over the animal kingdom in relation to giving birth. Most animals want a safe, dark, private area to lay eggs or give birth to offspring. Guess what chickens like over their nesting boxes? Curtains. Yes, curtains. I'm sure they don't care how pretty they are, but they seem to like the privacy that the fabric provides. (The curtains also help to keep them from eating their eggs....so we're going to stop with "privacy" as the key analogy...).


What if we treated laboring women as well as a good farmer treats their chickens? Instead of a hospital room boasting everything that we ASSUME should make a mother happy...

• "comfy bed"
  
• "safe" continuous monitoring
• pictures on the walls
• maybe even a tub....
• Operating room close by

....And instead we let HER CHOOSE what makes HER feel safe? Maybe that is the hospital with it's machines, nurses, and adjustable beds. Maybe it's not. Maybe it's in the tub at a birth center. Maybe it's her own home, with privacy, dim lighting (during the ENTIRE birth, even pushing!), and no strangers. Evidence proves that each of these options can be safe. So let's focus on empowering mothers to make the best choice for her instead of forcing her into the option that her doctor, or midwife, or friends prefer. 



Brown Chicken would be proud.